Friday, December 18, 2009

See, Your Sack Is Misshapen Because Your Nuts Are Too Big

I bought several packages of those delicious flavored almonds from one of those places in the middle of the mall where it always smells so good when you walk past and I always get the free samples of the delicious flavored almonds but never actually purchase any. I figured these made pretty good gifts for bus drivers, right? Plus, they were on sale: 7 packages for $20. Usually, they're 3 for $12. So that was even better since I'm cheap broke extremely economically efficient. Plus, I was already at the mall. Plus, I couldn't think of anything better to get. Plus, I really wanted the extra package of nuts for myself. Plus, the bus driver is awesome because if I'm running late or stuck in traffic, I just have to make a phone call and he'll finish his route and then come back and drop my kids off at our house. Which is exactly what happened yesterday when I lost track of time sniffing and tasting nuts. So, like I said, he's awesome. Plus, I think he's extra nice to me and my kids because this one time he made a comment to me about having so many babies and then later on he apologized for it. But it wasn't even necessary (the apology) because I wasn't offended in the first place. But that won't stop me from using his guilt to my full advantage.
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Oh, and while I was at the mall, I found gifts for the kids' teachers at Bath & Body Works (who doesn't love stuff like that?). I mean, super cheap stuff that smells really good. Almost as good as the bus driver's nuts.
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And also I went to Target to get gift bags for the lotions and the nuts and decided to get the Christmas-y treat bags they had for 25 cents each. They're essentially brown paper sacks, but not brown and decorated with Christmas trees or a snowmen or penguins and shit and hello?
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25 cents!
So, basically, I got all the bus driver and teacher gifts for really cheap, which made me super happy and I started to think that maybe I don't hate Christmas, after all.
Plus, I made that awesome joke about the misshapen sack when I was helping my 9 year-old assemble the gifts and I tried like hell not to laugh but it seemed even funnier because she totally didn't get it.

6 comments:

MiMi said...

I've never met a bus driver yet that had good smelling nuts. Not that I'd know. :)

bernthis said...

I love using guilt to my advantage. My mother really taught me well

McGillicutty said...

Hilarious... we live in the sticks and so I hardly ever go to the mall.. I miss it... kinda... love the joke about the nuts and love it even more that the 9 year old ignored it!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Cute post! Thanks for making me smile this morning before I had even finished my coffee. Too cute about the bus driver's nuts and hey, what a bargain shopper you are! Well done!

WhisperingWriter said...

I love those nuts!

Frogs in my formula said...

I love nut sack jokes. lol